{"id":6227,"date":"2012-06-18T05:47:57","date_gmt":"2012-06-18T03:47:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.ultimatefatburner.com\/?p=6227"},"modified":"2015-02-16T09:01:46","modified_gmt":"2015-02-16T14:01:46","slug":"double-bacon-bohemoth-burger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/double-bacon-bohemoth-burger\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;ll Take the &#8220;Double Bacon Bohemoth Burger,&#8221; Thank You!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This new ad for &#8220;Lean Pockets&#8221; (low-fat\/calorie version of &#8220;Hot Pockets&#8221;) is making the rounds of the blogosphere:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"838\" height=\"471\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/u1qmNA0DhWg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/copyranter\/david-hasselhoff-embarrassingly-unfunny-in-new-unf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Most<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/jezebel.com\/5918808\/what-the-hell-is-going-on-in-this-david-hasselhoff-lean-pockets-commercial\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">folks<\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.inquisitr.com\/256041\/david-hasselhoff-even-stranger-than-normal-in-new-lean-pockets-commercial\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">commenting<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.msn.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on this<\/a> appear to be\u00a0stunned at the sheer, campy awfulness of David Hasselhoff&#8217;s performance. I can&#8217;t argue with the critics; although I also can&#8217;t fault Mr. Hasselhoff: he&#8217;s an actor&#8230; it&#8217;s his job to follow the script and direction. Presumably, his bizarre, affected, over-the-top performance was precisely what the ad agency had in mind. And &#8211; in a way &#8211; I suppose\u00a0the\u00a0agency\u00a0achieved\u00a0its objective. People <em>are<\/em> talking about the ad, after all.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">All publicity is good publicity, I suppose&#8230; even when it&#8217;s bad.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">The thing that commanded my attention, however, wasn&#8217;t David Hasselhoff&#8230; or even the\u00a0painfully obvious\u00a0sexism\/size-ism of the ad. Rather, it was this close-up\u00a0shot of the product:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-6228\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/files\/2012\/06\/6-17-2012-5-54-26-PM-300x148.png\" alt=\"Lean Pocket product pic\" width=\"300\" height=\"148\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/files\/2012\/06\/6-17-2012-5-54-26-PM-300x148.png 300w, https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/files\/2012\/06\/6-17-2012-5-54-26-PM.png 613w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Ewwww&#8230; what the hell is in that thing!? It looks like a semi-congealed bolus of\u00a0chopped parsley mixed with Elmer&#8217;s Glue*! I&#8217;m\u00a0assuming it&#8217;s supposed to be spinach-and-cheese, but that&#8217;s just a WAG &#8211; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.hotpockets.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">I\u00a0didn&#8217;t find anything\u00a0quite like it in this list of &#8220;Lean Pocket&#8221; products<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">All that I know is that it looks&#8230; damn unappetizing. And the bit\u00a0toward the end &#8211; where he waves the plate under her nose and they oooh and aaah\u00a0over how delicious it smells &#8211;\u00a0reinforces this impression. Even though the product is (mercifully) intact, it seems\u00a0so\u00a0plain and small all by its lonesome on the plate.\u00a0Whatever else you can say about it, it doesn&#8217;t look anything like a <em>meal<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Suffice it to say, it <strong>doesn&#8217;t<\/strong> compare favorably to the &#8220;Double Bacon Bohemoth** Burger.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">And &#8211; given that choice in the real world &#8211; I&#8217;d take the burger in a heartbeat. One burger &#8211;\u00a0even a\u00a0&#8220;behemoth&#8221;\u00a0&#8211; isn&#8217;t going to wreck\u00a0my efforts to stay lean (let alone dictate who\u00a0I hook up with). As long as it&#8217;s not a regular indulgence, it&#8217;s no big deal (particularly since I probably wouldn&#8217;t finish it, anyway).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Sure, in general, it&#8217;s better to\u00a0choose lower-calorie fare\u00a0vs. higher calorie.\u00a0But that doesn&#8217;t make &#8220;Lean Pockets&#8221; a good &#8211; or even decent &#8211; choice for those non-indulgent days.\u00a0Judging from that ad, I&#8217;d have to be pretty desperate to\u00a0down\u00a0a &#8220;Lean Pocket&#8221; &#8211;\u00a0I&#8217;d just as soon construct a low-fat, higher protein hot\u00a0sandwich using my own lean meat\/low-fat cheese,\u00a0100% whole grain bread\u00a0and a panini press. It&#8217;s almost as convenient and <em>much<\/em> yummier.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">*Admittedly, this\u00a0analogy\u00a0was my second choice &#8211; the first\u00a0was NSFW.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">**I&#8217;m not sure wassup with &#8220;Bohemoth&#8221; &#8211; I&#8217;d like to think the misspelling was deliberate, but with an ad this dumb, it&#8217;s tough to be sure.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This new ad for &#8220;Lean Pockets&#8221; (low-fat\/calorie version of &#8220;Hot Pockets&#8221;) is making the rounds of the blogosphere: Most folks\u00a0commenting on this appear to be\u00a0stunned at the sheer, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[19],"tags":[1048,1327],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6227"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6227"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9616,"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6227\/revisions\/9616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ultimatefatburner.com\/ufb-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}