That’s what Paul wrote on the e-mail he forwarded to me this morning.\u00a0 He was being sarcastic, of course, but I could hardly blame him.\u00a0 Here’s the message he received:<\/p>\n
I would like to introduce UltimateFatBurner.com, and your valued customers, to Cellulean, the most effective Active Cellulite Solution on the market.\u00a0 I believe Cellulean is a perfect complimentary product to be utilized with all your weight loss and fat burning products. Your clients are motivated and focused to improve their overall body image and appearance; Cellulean will help.<\/p>\n
Please contact me at your earliest convenience so we may discuss this opportunity in more detail.\u00a0 I look forward to hearing back from you and helping you to become an authorized Cellulean Wholesaler.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with this picture? \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n
Since we don’t sell ANY products here, we\u00a0don’t have\u00a0“customers” or “clients”, either… and\u00a0it would have taken the sender\u00a0– who was the VP of Marketing – less than 5\u00a0minutes on the site to figure that out. \u00a0Needless to state, this stellar bit of marketing research and outreach didn’t exactly leave us with\u00a0a very good\u00a0impression of him.<\/p>\n
Or his product… Prior to receiving a copy of the above message, I’d never heard of\u00a0“Cellulean” before.\u00a0 But\u00a0once my consciousness had\u00a0been raised,\u00a0I figured\u00a0it was as good an excuse as any to\u00a0“discuss this opportunity in more detail”.<\/p>\n
Let’s start with the obvious: what is cellulite – and why is it such an issue for women?\u00a0 This recent New York Times article gives a pretty good explanation<\/a>:<\/p>\n
CELLULITE is a telltale sign that life is a crapshoot. Most women get cellulite after puberty. But men usually don\u2019t, not even if they\u2019ve got the girth to qualify for \u201cThe Biggest Loser.\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s because the connective tissue bands under men\u2019s skin are crisscrossed like a net, keeping their fat more evenly restrained. By contrast, women\u2019s tissue bands are organized in vertical columns, so fat may bulge irregularly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt a normal weight your fat cells fall nicely into valleys of connective tissue,\u201d said Dr. Michael D. Jensen, a clinical professor of medicine at the Mayo Clinic, who has studied fat for 25 years. \u201cWhen you get too many fat cells or too big of fat cells now they push up on the roof.\u201d Or, your skin.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s more, women don\u2019t have as thick a roof as men, all the better to show dimples. And thanks to estrogen, women have more fatty reserves.<\/p>\n
It doesn\u2019t stop there. As we age, the connective tissue strands between our skin and muscle, which used to stretch to accommodate weight fluctuations, become inflexible. \u201cSome of the bands tighten down and you get pockmarks with bulges next to them,\u201d said Dr. Brian M. Kinney, an assistant professor of plastic surgery at the Keck School of Medicine at University of Southern California. Voil\u00e0, cottage cheese.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
In other words, cellulite is a structural problem… it only appears to be superficial.\u00a0 As such, superficial treatments generally don’t do a whole lot to get rid of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt this point, there is no outstanding treatment for cellulite,\u201d said Dr. Molly Wanner, an instructor in dermatology at Harvard Medical School and an author of an evidence-based review of existing treatments in 2008. A lasting remedy would have to address the interplay between skin, fat, connective tissue and underlying muscle.<\/p>\n
In other words, curing cellulite requires nothing short of changing the structure of skin.<\/p>\n
Still, treatments abound, from contour-refining lotions and liposuction to massage machines with lasers and light sources. And there\u2019s no shortage of takers. The market for cellulite-reduction devices in the United States was more than $47 million in 2008, said Amy Krohn, a spokeswoman for the Millennium Research Group. It is projected to grow to $62 million by 2013.<\/p>\n
But no treatment has emerged as the gold standard. \u201cMost studies show a 25 to 50 percent improvement after multiple treatments,\u201d Dr. Wanner said. \u201cSome patients have even less improvement, and the effects may go away over time so patients may require additional treatments.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The reality is that – photoshopped models notwithstanding<\/a> – most women have – or will have –\u00a0some cellulite on their bodies, even those of us who are unusually lean (and yes, that “us” is inclusive… I have some too. \ud83d\ude09 )<\/p>\n
So let’s return to Cellulean<\/a> now, and see what the product has to offer.<\/p>\n
Cellulean features a range of ingredients, but the principal one is aminophylline – an asthma medication composed of theophylline (a methylxanthine compound similar to caffeine) and ethylenediamine.\u00a0 Since it also stimulates lipolysis, it’s used in mesotherapy solutions and\u00a0over-the-counter topical fat reduction products.\u00a0 As you might imagine, aminophylline isn’t unique to Cellulean… in fact, there are a\u00a0number of\u00a0aminophylline creams out there<\/a>, including\u00a0some that have been targeted by the Federal Trade Commission<\/a>.<\/p>\n
What’s the deal with aminophylline?\u00a0 The Cellulean web site states that there\u00a0have been\u00a0nine clinical trials conducted on it, but only one relevant study\u00a0is cited or discussed on the site<\/a>.<\/p>\n
RESULTS: At week 12, there was a significant reduction in BMI from baseline that was not different between the groups. The reduction in waist circumference was 11 +\/- 1.0 cm in the aminophylline cream group and 5.0 +\/- 0.6 cm in the control group (p < 0.001). The reduction in waist circumference was significant for both women and men, but the women lost significantly more waist girth. The waist to hip ratio, a measure of fat distribution, declined. Aminophylline levels were undetectable, and there were no adverse events. DISCUSSION: Aminophylline cream offers a safe and effective method for cosmetic local fat reduction from the waist.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Ok, so the aminophylline group lost an extra 6 cm vs. the control group.\u00a0I have to admit,\u00a0that’s\u00a0a pretty\u00a0impressive result. Unfortunately, there were also\u00a0some problems with the study that could have influenced those results, as noted by one medical reviewer<\/a>:<\/p>\n
The study has several limitations. It did not include a placebo group, and there is no mention of blinding of investigators who assessed study outcomes<\/strong>. The much larger proportion of women in the study and their improved outcomes vs men leaves open the possibility that aminophylline cream may not be as effective in males. Finally, the authors did not include an analysis of the efficacy of aminophylline cream based on study subjects’ degree of weight loss. All participants in this study received a structured weight-loss program that was generally successful. Aminophylline may not be as effective without such a program in place.<\/p>\n
While aminophylline was effective in the current study, not all fat is created equal, and aminophylline has a mixed record of efficacy in other trials<\/strong>. In a study of aminophylline cream vs placebo among a group of women, application to the buttocks and thighs failed to improve BMI, thigh circumference, or fat depth within the thigh as measured by ultrasound. Moreover, less than 10% of patients felt that aminophylline improved the appearance of their cellulite…<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Emphasis mine. The failure to use a placebo, or blind the subjects\/experimenters\u00a0are pretty important omissions, as\u00a0the researchers’ feedback and expectations could have affected the\u00a0subjects’ compliance to the\u00a0strict diet\u00a0program they were\u00a0 on.\u00a0 As noted above, not all trials of topical aminophylline have had such dramatic results<\/a>.<\/p>\n